Friday, May 1, 2009

Sin......

I woke up this morning thinking that I would start my day out like I usually do. That is, without a serious prayer and Bible time. I used to be good about getting up, grabbing my Bible, and getting right to it. But the last couple of months I haven’t been doing so hot in that area of life. There have been morning appointments, and various other sublimely ridiculous excuses. I would always “make it up” of course by reading it later in the day. Yet, there isn’t always that true, “Oneness” with Christ when I’m hurrying through the “task” of reading my Bible and praying.

This morning however, I woke up, checked my e-mail, and was starting the day out like any other day. Yet, I felt something in my heart say to me, “Justin... go, right now, talk with God, pray.” I was pretty sure that this thought most likely came from God Himself so I followed His command. I went upstairs, grabbed my Bible, and headed for the living room. Sat there on the couch and stared out the window. I felt instantly that I was being attacked. I was trying so hard to focus on my prayers yet, random things kept slipping in and overtaking my mind’s thoughts. I started to pray that God would grant me peace at this moment that I would be allowed to focus on Him. He indeed granted that request.

After about 20 minutes of amazing prayer for the Teen Pact staff, my closest friend, other friends, myself, and my family I finally decided to open my Bible. I thought, “I’ll read the Psalms, their the best.” I figured I mine as well read the Psalm of the day but I couldn’t remember the date. I was thinking, “In the car on Tuesday, Taylor read the 18th Psalm. So, Wednesday, 19, Thursday, 20, today 21st.” Now, as I’m sure some of you know this was inaccurate deducing. Indeed, Taylor had read the 28th Psalm, not the 18th. Just once again shows God’s amazing ability to lead me through life. The 21st Psalm was pretty amazing, but, I decided to also go to the next one, the 51st Psalm. That’s where it all started to hit me. As I was reading I noticed I was reading in a whisper out loud. I found myself looking up to the ceiling as I read this Psalm, praying it fervently to God. Here is that Psalm for you, maybe, if you pray it like I did, you’ll find tears coming down your face as well...

Psa 51:1 To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba. Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.
Psa 51:2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!
Psa 51:3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.
Psa 51:4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.
Psa 51:5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Psa 51:6 Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
Psa 51:7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Psa 51:8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
Psa 51:9 Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
Psa 51:11 Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Psa 51:12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Psa 51:13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you.
Psa 51:14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
Psa 51:15 O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.
Psa 51:16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
Psa 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Psa 51:18 Do good to Zion in your good pleasure; build up the walls of Jerusalem;
Psa 51:19 then will you delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar.

God truly is amazing. He has done so much for me in my life. Yet, do I show this to Him? Do I wake up in the morning and say, “YES! I get to worship God!”? No, I don’t. Honestly folks, truthfully, I don’t. I’m not sure if you do as well, but I know I have this problem. If any of you feel this way, and are willing to share about it, I’ll be more than glad to pray for you, and would love it if you would pray for me. We must stick to Christ, worship Him. He is our King, and we must show Him due respect. I would appreciate it if you all would pray that I would have that passion once again for Christ. He is my Lord and Savior, yet, I tend to loose sight of the end goal. Let’s band together, and work towards God, trusting in His name, and honoring Him through praise and prayer.

-Your brother in Christ

6 comments:

emily said...

"He is my Lord and my Savior, yet I tend to lose sight of the end goal..."

Justin, I'm so glad you wrote about this. I've fallen short as well, waking up, going about my day, etc. And, believe it or not, the days that I start with Christ and end with Christ seem to go 10x more smoothly than the days I don't include Christ as much in my routine. And, like I told you, last night at 12:30 God like, dragged me out of bed to pray for some people. It was amazing, that 40 minutes or so of just feeling God's power!? I think I've been convicted that He needs our full and un-diverted 110% attention!

I'll be praying for you Justin :), keep it up!

JustinK said...

Glad to know that I'm not the only one Em. :) But what you said is so true. He does deserve our un-diverted attention. Because honestly, God doesn't need our attention, He simply deserves it. Not only that, He commands us to give it to Him.

Thank you for your comment Em.
-JK

emily said...

Yes! Exactly! He deserves it! We don't deserve to even be here, yet, by God's saving grace, He gave us life! With that said, He deserves our un-distracted, and focused, and un-diverting attention! And yes, He commands it! :)

Yep, anytime :)

Heidi Anna Lisa said...

Thank you for posting about this. I have been struggling lately with taking the time to read the Bible and pray first thing. Sometimes God gets a hold of us. At Regionals(NCFCA) there were several times when I felt led to go and pray. Afterward doing so, all the issues I had been dealing with were resolved and I really felt His peace.
In Christ,
Heidi

Bisceglia Family said...

When I read this post the first time, and saw that you posted the very same Psalm I had just read in my Bible time, I was so surprised! I'm sure it was a brainwave. :) I love this Psalm. It rings so true. A long time ago my mom taught me the song that is verses 10-12 of this chapter and I still sing it to myself sometimes when I'm feeling down or "out of touch" with God.

What was said about the days that start and end with Christ going so much better is SO true. Sometimes I have these really "busy" days and I just don't get around to reading my Bible...and then the next day I think, "Wait. Where was my priority? Was all that other stuff I had to do actually more important than building my relationship with Christ?" And no, it NEVER is! And I'm never so refreshed on those days either. Also, it says many, many times in the Psalms that the righteous man meditates on God' Word day and night!!

You're right, Justin. God has done a tremendous amout for each of us. He deserves more praise, so much more praise, than I can give. Yet I should give my utmost, my best, to Him each and every day. (Wow!) Moment to moment I shouldn't lose the realization that He has done great things, IS doing great things, and will do great things for me! Giving God praise should be a joy!

Oh yes, during prayer I too have to work really hard to focus. That is one reason I started doing a prayer journal. I've found that when I write my prayers I stay so much more focused. It is also special to look back and see how God answers prayer!!

Thank you for sharing - keep it up!
~Kathrina

JbarJ Mom said...

I don't know if you'll ever see this comment because it's kinda late. But I wanted to say thanks, your post was one of many things that helped me get back to my bible reading, so...thanks!